flight of thought
this speeding clumsy train of words
might be all i've got
in this moment
where i'm biting my lip
and burying my phone

why must i feel everything at once
and want to say all my words in one giant blah
I lose my mind and I lose my sense
and I'm supposed to be so damn talented
with these words
these goddamn words
but when I'm upset and you're turning away
they turn into loose letters
drooling down my lips
pooling on my chin
dripping onto the floor

darling i feel it all
i see twenty chess plays ahead
and someone's always ending up dead
crashed and burned and burned and crashed and

this rage, this rage, this goddamn rage
I wish I could put music to this rage, this rage
I play the wrong keys, i sing so out of my key

i sang opera with you
sing my angel
i sang opera with you
drunk in my parent's garage
one am and i was singing
opera with you
my voice so high
and there was no fear
or projections or reflections

this house is full of cats and past
i sit at the same desk where i sat at ten
and here I am still writing, still writing
still trying to be better, to be thinner
to be this girl that I probably, honestly already am

no mirrors here now
i left them all in jersey
and the air is so thick of nicotine
that is not mine
cancer without the pleasure

and I gotta ask
while I don't believe
necesarily in mistakes
did I mis-step or at least pounced
too quickly?

damn my impulsivity
my compulsion
this minor mania that sets off in my brain
and why don't I take my damn ADD meds
when I have a whole bottle
that could make me slower and saner?

I'm so dented and damaged and bruised
You are so dented and damaged and bruised
you said people can heal each other
I believe that, I believe that still