amateur night at redd's tavern

there's broken glass
near the dartboard
I almost step in it
on my way to the bathroom
I'm annoyed no one
told the bartenders
or even bothered
to warn me.

I shoot the closest
doofus playing pool
a dirty look. Then
a fleeting thought
that I, as a regular,
should dutifully report
the party foul
but I'm just too tired
to do any more
shouting over the bar
and these hipsters
so unwelcome but
tolerated in my bar
with their skinny pants
and unlimited bank accounts
are annoying the
hell out of me.

It's Saturday
amateur night
and every Coors tipping
cool kid thinks
they're the next
Bukowski.
Look at them so
tortured
and ironic
in their pre-distressed jeans
their faux vintage
t-shirts and the way they
cheat while playing
Buckhunter.

I wanna go home
just wanna find Ayumi
and say goodnight
I left some candles
burning I recalled
at the last minute
sitting alone on my stool
watching a pasty and hairy
tree stump of a man
thrash and sing in a
heavy metal band
on the flat screen above the bar
looking pretty damn stupid
with the sound turned off
and Bloc Party on the jukebox