bile

like wax lips
i gum, i mouth at you
i resist the urge to taste
tongue inside and i roll back and forth
and ride, and wave and
promise things and
ask for things
that i have no right

i have not felt so
strongly this urge
to destroy
to palm and swat
to be the cat to your mouse
if only for some sort of
dervish elegance

i turn my head
down my back lies
it shoots
a pain
and i know
that i am aging before my time
and i am drowning in bile
so vile
and self-manufactured