my heart turned inside out
like mango clinging to its skin
backbended, split open
theirs to sink their teeth into
to feed on

you quiet me
you shutter me down, you
release the gaskets
you remind me that I don't need
to scream like that little girl
I once was
that I can stop this
anytime I want

i writhe and then settle
breathe
and hope you can see
that I am constantly getting better
even when
i fall apart