- a new but old one written in a particularly sad, depressed time


I was cycling, hard
disregulated, disembobulated
evil-spell caught
and caught up in the stream
of negativity
that the broken faucet
in my mind
occasionally spurts and spews

i said
"why would anyone love me?
why would anyone want to spend time with me?
when i'm probably just going
to off myself by the time i'm 35 anyway"
and it startled us both
a psychic hand over my mouth
i couldn't back-peddle
and the words fell to the ether

we both pondered the truth
the perception, the power of the
self-fulfilled prophecy
and returned the old fear
that my mind is going to kill me
that my heart is going to splinter
and shattered and slice everything inside
the feeling that hyde will plunge
a sharpened letter opener
deep into jeckyl's aorta
or vice versa
in order to save the world

i laid my head on the desk
and the depressed exhausting returned
a phone call, a text, a reassuring hand on the shoulder
it'll pass, it always does
into inner chambers i retreat and sleep
waiting for the time i open my eyes
and find the dawn has broken
the fever has disapated
and I am back to me again