the same dark

two hours ago i was optimistic
i had plans and good intentions
the sunsets and i fall to darkness
never both to turn on the lights
computer screen absorbs my face

somewhere in the shadows
i open a beer, light a cigarette
the phone rings, it's not you
so i don't answer, i never answer
i am locked inside some madness
cage fight to the death
only one soul will exit when it's through

the world is a mean girl, a prom queen to me
carrots are dangled and i run
that damn optimism, that dreaded hope
i declare secrets and write sonnets
my voice fades to whisper, to simple breath
periodic moan, glass slippers slicing off toes

in the dark, in the same dark
i had with you, i slept besides, in the dark
that is not as soft now, is not as friendly now
it is this dark that drags me back
nails in the dark, I am Persephone
it is winter, it is time, it is time
and away i am taken, much more than i flee

the grass seems so far from me now
thousands of feet above and below
i want to read minds, i want to inspect hands
before they touch me
if i keep dirnking, i don't tihnk i'll stop
trying to drain myself, trying to drown myself
trying to soak away all that i hate
marinade in bodega forties
fingers too young to be stained this yellow
but still yet that way