i know nothing

gaslike
vapor
playhouse
wallpaper
it could all burn
everything could burn
at anytime
you know

i think of my toys
abandoned in the
dump behind our
farm house and wish
i could go back there
and somehow
despite my fear of snakes
rescue my
crystal castle
and turn 8 again

over the years
i've learned to
not throw things
away and you may
call me a packrat
and perhaps is just
a precursor to
insanity and a
collection of cats
that'll rub
and purr against the
endless piles of
memories that
overwhelm me not
from girth or bulk
not from abundance
or cumber
but because i have
forgotten why
they were packed
and saved
in the first place

I feel badly.

it is a burden
this consciousness
i struggle to feel
every moment
and appreciate every
star filled night and
blossom filled lawn

but despite all my
good intentions
and if you know me
you know i am
all about
(for better or for worse)
good intentions
yes, for all my
good intentions

the world keeps
turning and despite my
trying to name every
photo
trying to be in every
frame yet push the
shutter myself

(setting of timer
then tripping of feet)

yes despite all this
despite that fear of snakes
and desire to scientfically
know
and to bibically know
i just have to say

that i know
nothing.