It kept me up a good part of the night.
I said I didn't want to help. But I did. I do. I just.... can't anymore.
And then I began to worry. Will he be ok? He won't do anything stupid will he?
Then I just try to remember that he's the one who didn't want me in his life. He's a big boy. He's got his family and all those car buddies (ahem) that he made toward the end of our relationship. I mean... we were best friends and he sent me a message clear and strong that he didn't need me or my friendship or my love. He chose this life.
The guilt will wear off in a couple days I suppose. I just wonder when the compassion and lingering annoying love will.
About Me
- Janice Brabaw
- New York, New York
- Janice Brabaw is the author of Universe, Disturbed, her first collection of poetry that draws directly from her teenage and college journals when she suffered from debilitating depression. She is also the author of And Again: A Memoir of a Life Disordered which chronicles her struggles with depression and borderline personality disorder. And Again is slated to be released in 2009 and Universe, Disturbed is currently in it's second edition. Janice Brabaw lives in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. She runs the literary & musical series, Stained Glass Confessional in Brooklyn and has read at The Bowery Poetry Club, Otto's Shrunken Head, The Cake Shop, and the Library Lounge series at Telephone Bar. Her work has appeared in Poesis, The Toronto Quarterly, Ophelia Street, The Record, and the Cartier Street Review. More information about Janice can be found at www.JaniceBrabaw.com
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