betwixt and between

Between broken hearts
I wander Grand Street
From one drink to another
From one bar to the next
I can't find my home

Up in the air, up in the humid atmosphere
I live above clouds and without a ladder
Forty-eight steps to my elevated hell
I retreat to inner chambers, to Bukowski, to dry, spilled tea

Between lips, between his teeth
A string of mango, a strand of black dyed hair
A sore, a bleeding thing to tongue
Perhaps a memory, perhaps that last letter I wrote

I must exist in 2007 somewhere in him
and I must project a projectile, an emotion
A stir-stick, a confusion, a lowering of guards
I must be there somewhere in pack-ratted piles
I must slither and I must stick to the bottom of his shoe

I know I must, I have, I will, I be, I've been
there before, crushed and snorted, drank and spilled
or perhaps just crusty mayonaise on dirty counters
I've been, he's tasted, I've screamed and wallowed
and I know on some level, on some mental plain
with the rocks and falls and scratched knees
I am somewhere there in his mind
a bump, a marker, the slightest hint of dna
a ghost, a scent, a forgotten toothbrush, a book inscription
in his mind, in his box of me, there i must be

but for now i wander

Between broken hearts
I wander Grand Street
From one drink to another
From one bar to the next
I can't find my home