Bachelor #1

I've been talking about it for awhile. But now, after receiving the following email I have indeed decided that it's time to start writing the book about all the horrible dates/horrible men that I've endured in my quest to find "Mr. Right." I think I'll do one every few days. Maybe if I get enough I'll put together a book. But for now... yeah. I wonder why I'm still single and then I realize oh yeah.... I'm a crazy magnet. Lucky me.

So yeah. Here's Bachelor #1 --

I'm too lazy to edit, so enjoy. It was in response to a personal ad.

Heya, my name is Paul. I'm a 25 year old full-time student and mover/census agent/delivery driver/demolitionist/constructionist/paintist/whatever-I-woke up-this-morning-thinking-I-could-get-paid-doing-er/ist. I was on CL posting my room share and am making my first foray into the personals I've heard so many interesting stories about. I live in E. Williamsburg--Mwahaha... sorry, Bushwick, but that's not half as ridiculous and hilarious if you ask me-- on the Ridgewood border. I love writing, music, and people, not in that I find most people to be good or even decent, but in that all people are interesting, have their own unique set of experiences and things to share.

Passionate, sensual, psychological, experimental sex. Generosity. Taking care of each other. That late night call, the conversation before falling asleep, that hug when the world is kicking your ass, that feeling that someone's got your back anytime, any place." I totally agree with you on this definition. We're young (forever, in my case... in the -at-heart kinda way, not the Tuck Everlasting kinda way), and we live in a city that's constantly in flux, I think all of those people clinging to rural. find a partner and be miserable with them for the rest of your life idea of love are fooling themselves, especially here. Love is something we all have to give, and should choose to share as often as possible with a person who's willing to do the same, for as long as both parties are ENJOYING each others' company.

Anyway, I could go on forever (I write, it's what I do....) but I'd like to be sure you're real and reading this. So... if you are the beautiful and interesting individual whose ad I'm replying to, give me a holler. It's a stay in and watch the snow Saturday, and those are always better shared. I'm not in Williamsburg, but I am just a few stops away on the L, and I own a car (a 94 Grand Marquis former limo named Layla who you must not be jealous of, for she is and will always be my first love [chronologically]), so distance is no object.

My response:

Hey Paul....

Did you manage to get out tonight?

I'm very very hungover and lying on my couch watching tv trying not to use my brain to full capacity and thought I'd write ya.

But one thing -- I grew up on a farm in a rural setting -- not everyone there believes in staying in a bad marriage --- was kinda confused by that comment, actually lol. And sometimes being in a relationship isn't always fun, ya know? I think, at that stage, it's about finding someone that you want to be with and fight with and fight for. But anyway, I digress.....

His response:

There has to be a basis to digress FROM for it to be digressing. But I put just one line of crazy bait in there and WOW! You went right for it! And that right there is how a writer checks if you're totally insane. Might wanna see someone about that.

My response:

I'm totally insane because as someone from a rural setting I didn't like having where I'm from classified one way? I would have picked up on it if you had said anything about anyone from a "rural" setting. It's a common city misconception that everyone from the country is backward and stupid and such. But based on your response to my quite innocent comment, I obviously shouldn't worry myself too much with what you think. What I said back had nothing to do with my "craziness." It was a response to a strangely chosen word -- which, as a writer (an actual published writer) I found interesting and was attempting to start a dialogue to see why exactly you had picked that word.

That was a really immature and cruel response. But at least I got to see right away that someone who is that mistrusting, that close minded, that judgemental and immature is not waste my time.

Oh and if having a healthy attitude about love, dedication, devotion, commitment, family, and marriage makes me crazy so be it.