On Turning Thirty

Yeah so I didn't take it so well at ALL.

I woke up and was in a good mood then I was on the couch watching tv and then just started crying and crying. Every little thing sent me into a rage or hysterical sobs. It was a really difficult day. I couldn't pinpoint just what was wrong and lashed out in every direction. It was really hard and really ugly.

I was thinking about all the things that I thought I'd have accomplished by 30 that I hadn't. I was thinking about all the BAD things and none of the good. I was measuring myself against some imaginary and arbitrary numbers. After freaking out and lashing out and crying and all around acting pretty cuckoo, I was able to calm down and go out to a lovely birthday party. But up until then... my goodness.

I am a pretty symbolic person. And when I hit such an immense symbol it was rough. I feel good now and I don't think I'll ever be able to explain the haywire thinking and feeling of that day but I'm sure glad it's over. Thirty has been wonderful since. But that first day... oh my goodness...

So thus all the wacky postings. A really turbulent day indeed.