lights on (draft)

I leave lights on
I wander room to room
I sing and occasionally spin.
Embers to my amber and faults set to cringe.

The cat is in heat
It's not her fault
but yet I scream at her
to stop her incessant lust.

I leave lights on
I bore myself and bury myself in weight
I invite others, I throw them my keys
Lovers to my laborless and paper to my subtle burn.

Moonless and flavorless
Brooklyn night finds the dark
It wrings out the stars
It drinks warm milk
And grinds its teeth

Hand to cold, uninsulated glass
I'd like to be a part of this, please
I am coming apart, I am set apart
I am related and retarded and relative
I could fall just as fast as your feathers
I could whisper, I could wallow, I shall follow

Razor to peach fuzz
Eden's garden I once was
Before revenge and rape
Eden's garden I once was
Before twins crashed and
Candles burned all night
in coffee cans and
styrofoam cups, held in children's hands

I leave lights on
I wander the rooms
I scream at cats
I lift and leave and lie
I lie, I lie, I lie
I won't look you in the eye,
Great sun
I won't tongue your sour
I won't lick your sweet
I fear I shall spin and wind and cocoon
thirty year old girl in a case of candy glass

Just, perhaps, to be safer
Just, perchance, to be saner
Sidestepping life I reject your reality
Shower on, windows wide open
Glade "spring showers" air freshener full bloom
I run through the rain
I carve jewelry out of stone
Herniated hermit, la bouche a blaze

I could love you
I could love you
I could love you
I could love you

Without razor blades
Without midnight terror
Without insecure restrictions
Without bitter after taste
Without repressive residue

Yes, I could love you
I could love you
I could love
you.

I shall leave the lights on.