I lay here and I can hear the fish tank filter and cars off in the distance. Grand Street is dead. I have at least two cats on my legs sleeping and Richie next to my laptop. The only light on in my apartment is the floor lamp next to my bed. I can smell the cat litter from my office and it fills me with more dread than displeasure - another monotonous chore for the morning.
I seriously need to get back to work. This is just absolutely insane. But it's late and I'm tired so I won't think about that and money problems and all that.
It's so easy to beat yourself up when you've got perfect hindsight. Fuck even if I had saved more money there's no way I could be ten weeks into unemployment and not be freaking the hell out. The worst part? I tried to resort to crap jobs just "in the meantime" but so many of them pay less than or as more as unemployment. 100 a day? Seriously? After taxes and metro cards and meals it's as much as unemployment if not less. How the mighty has fallen. I was making nearly 400 a DAY on my last gig. This just all around fucking sucks.
OK but yeah said I wouldn't think about it. Time for bed I guess but I really just want to TALK to someone. But everyone else has lives and isn't up at 2 am.
I need a sugar daddy. Maybe I'll look on Craig's List. lol Eh fuck.
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